… does that make sense?
Warning: The time has come for everyone of all ages to learn this message. Groping will no longer be tolerated. Dramatic action is being taught the world over.
Rape is the penetration, no matter how slight, of the vagina or anus with any body part (including hands and fingers) or object, or oral penetration by a sex organ of another person, without the consent of the victim.
Sexual Assault is any forced, unwanted, non consensual sexual contact or activity. Sexual assault is a serious crime against the person. — From rinj.org/rape
Every case of groping is a form of sexual violence. Any act of violence can and very often does escalate to death, not just rape.
Groping Case that led to Rape & Near Death.
Morris Davidson was 15 when groping went beyond. It took him a long time to talk about it because it was his hitchhiking that led to the event. His family had repeatedly warned him not to do that. He broke some family safety rules that day and the penalty was severe.
To make a long story short the man who gave Morris a ride was, as they were driving along a country road in Ontario, Canada, repeatedly groping Morris’s penis which had become somewhat aroused by the touching. Morris was embarrassed yet angry. The groper was encouraged. Morris felt terrible. Hois own body betrayed his feelings. He would repeatedly push the hand away and protest with his frightened, changing voice pitch of male adolescence.
Unfortunately that’s not all that happened.
The man, in his earnest to take control of Morris, lost control of the vehicle at about 80 km/per hour, which ended up sliding sideways along a ditch.
Morris regained consciousness as the man was behind him tugging Morris’s jeans down his thighs. The man was trying to push his penis into Morris’s anus from behind but needed to lower the pants more.
As Morris became aware, his consciousness returning, he realized he was half in and half-way out of the sideways inclined door-open vehicle; he realized with horror what was happening as he felt the first stabs of sharp pain.
Morris found gargantuan strength from deep inside him. Panic and anger mixed; anger took over as he twisted around and slammed the man in the jaw with his right fist; he broke the man’s jaw with a crack and knocked out some teeth.
Morris tripped, stumbled to the ground, pulled his pants up and fled leaving the assailant to fend for himself. He jogged a couple kilometers to a pay phone and reported an accident to traffic police but said nothing of the attempted rape. He then made his way to the Petro Canada highway rest stop washroom and cleaned himself up. He made a call to a female friend who was a 16-year-old driver and got a ride home. She kept his secret, but she worried about Morris, all these years.
Morris lived with this haunting memory and a question of his own perceived guilt for some 20 years. Finally, talking to trauma-patient-care people from RINJ, his frequent depressions are fewer. His confusion and guilt are coming to a close and so too is the event of that day.
Too many years of pain and confused sadness have gone by to say there is triumph but thank God in the rest of Morris’s life he will be truer to himself having learned that it is OK to open up to somebody. You are not alone on this Earth.
Sometimes in our mind we put things into a box where we don’t want to go. We go through life walking around that box in silence, never wanting to bring it all out. Those boxes eventually become monsters. Morris got rid of some monsters.
Society does not properly raise boys and teach them how to be a man. Many men live in sadness and depression for being alone in a dark
RINJ would charge the perpetrator in Morris’s matter with the indictable offences of rape, criminal negligence causing bodily harm, child molestation, and more today if it were not for the fact he is deceased having died in prison.
“Morris” is not the ‘survivor”s real name but an alias used as part of an agreement for fact-release.
Was Morris justified to punch the attacker?
Notwithstanding what the laws of your country may be, the Universal Declaration of Human Rights (UDHR) is a declaration adopted by the United Nations General Assembly on 10 December 1948 at the Palais de Chaillot, Paris that says what the man did was illegal and what the boy did in response was his right to protect his personal safety. This declaration is at the root of many nation state’s statutes. It’s the basis for most laws governing human rights. If it isn’t in your country, it should be.
Govern yourself accordingly. That means that you have the right to use a measure of force needed to stop the attack on your personal safety, just as Morris did. Free and safe, you then need to talk to a trusted person of some authority about what happened. Not doing so imperils others who may become victims of the offender you met.
Groping is often a precursor to worse Crime.
In Morris’s case the man was about to rape the boy and it is possible that he would also have killed Morris.
John Wayne Gacy Jr. (March 17, 1942 – May 10, 1994) was an American serial killer and rapist who between 1972 and 1978 in Cook County, Illinois, raped and killed more than 30 teen boys who apparently did not have a right-punch as overwhelming as Morris’s.
Morris did the right thing. Agree?
Deadly Violence. It started with the groping.
This means, “Don’t fool yourself into believing unwanted touching is harmless“. It never is harmless.
In Morris’s case, the danger was extreme. The perpetrator had a strong measure of control. RINJ evaluation of the man’s intentions based on methods and extensive case experience suggests that Morris was in extreme danger from the moment of agreeing to ride with this person.
The extreme violence of the offender was triggered when the perpetrator lost control of the car and it crashed into the ditch sending Morris’s body tumbling, his head oscillating against the side window. The offender, realizing he was losing control of the situation, took a decision to commit his crime at that point. Probably the rape crime was planned to take place in a secluded place from which Morris would never return.
When someone has begun a sexual assault against you they have a violent conclusion in mind.
Don’t ever lull yourself into believing that you have the right or ability to take a life. We can teach about self defence but your best situation will be achieved by leaving the scene to safety. If you can’t you will need to defend yourself.
You have the right to your life, liberty and personal security. So does everyone else. So does your attacker.
You have the right to protect yourself using a measure of force commensurate with the threat.
If a man or woman is truly groping or fondling your breast on the bus, (and not accidentally poking you with an umbrella that is wrapped in a scarf and hung with a grocery bag over a shoulder while she struggles with her other arm containing a rambunctious 3-yr-old and five kilos of potatoes) take appropriate action!
Use your outstretched middle and index fingers to strike the groper in the eye, throat or chest (explained later); get to safety, report the event to the nearest authority like a bus driver, ticket inspector, police officer, security guard etc.
If the attacker blocks your egress, scream, continue to prevent their attack by striking repeatedly with your two fingers until you are released, then flee to safety.
Nobody is allowed to touch your person unless you have given permission in some form. For example, when you shake a person’s hand and they put their other hand on your shoulder and smile kindly, you are in a situation where there is implied permission. But end that if you don’t like the touch by removing your habnd and stridently stepping backwards.
If a random stranger on a subway train reaches out to take your hand for a handshake, keep your hands to yourself and step back or sideways if you have room. Leave the area if you can. If not, you could say politely, “I do not know you and do not wish to shake your hand or be touched in any manner”. That’s a good suggestion of what to say.
Bugs Can Kill You
On the topic of someone groping you “down there”, especially if you are a girl, think about the invisible threat.
Remember SARS? Bird flu?
The threat was a microscopic organism that entered bodies through orifices we use for perfectly natural things, like breathing.
Look at this Troubling Case about a Bug
Sue-Lee was 11 at the time she was groped by a man from the rear of a bus when he came forward to her bench seat and sat beside her, blocking her escape.
The bus contained only a few passengers, each busy with something and paying no attention.
The bus was noisy, thought Sue-Lee. She was going home from a clarinet lesson and had her instrument with her, neatly put away in its slender, hard case beside her by the window, resting on her right shoulder.
Sue-Lee wore her plaid school skirt and a neat, white, dress shirt. Like many girls from her school, she rolled up her skirt when she was not near school. It was far too long, she thought. Shorter skirts looked cool, like “Barbie” (A good episode eleven for the epic Anime “Kill-Me-Baby [Sonya Assassin]” might be the figurative drowning of this disgusting male-money-making sexism-icon trash-toy.).
Four things happened quickly that evening.
- The man’s wet hand was inside Sue-Lees underpants in a flash and his fingers explored the inside of her labia, finally penetrating her. She was raped.
- Sue-Lee after struggling to free herself and realizing she could not, grabbed her clarinet case and slugged the man repeatedly and angrily until he withdrew and retreated into the aisle.
- She ran to the front of the bus and asked the bus driver to stop. The driver asked what was wrong and Sue-Lee screamed out to let her off and began to cry. The bus stopped and she left.
- The rapist returned to the back of the bus and continued, as he had been doing when she got on the bus, to masturbate himself.
Sue-Lee never told a soul until one day, her secret was exposed.
No country is the worst in sex-education. They all suck! Herein lies a dangerous problem. Children don’t seem to understand that while being groped, they are being seriously assaulted and they are in extreme danger. The attacker might follow and kidnap them; blackmail them into doing wrongful things; infect them; rape them; impregnate them; and even kill them. Don’t trifle with a groper; and don’t be a groper.
A year later when a disconcerting discharge began to annoy Sue-Lee, she mentioned this to her Momma. Mom, thinking that Sue-Lee might be in the throes of commencing menstruation packed her off to the medical clinic to see a doctor. The Doc was a good one and on suspicion she did a pap smear and a battery of blood tests.
A week later, “Doc Her” demanded the appearance of both parents and daughter. She pulled blood from both parents and made an appointment for three days later. An alarming fact was exposed. Sue-Lee and only Sue-Lee had an infection.
Bacterium Chlamydia trachomatis is commonly found in human adults all around the world. It is a sexually transmitted disease. Yes, it can be passed easily genitals-to-hand-to-genitals.
Sue-Lee’s break down as she told her story was so severe that “Doc Her” had to give the child a mild anxiolytic and schedule weekly counseling sessions.
She’s OK now.
Her parents are not OK.
Most groping is done between Parents. This is not the problem you think.
Yes. Mom and Dad “grope” each other and you don’t know the half of it. You naturally don’t want to know. When you first encountered this form of foreplay, you were young enough to giggle. They didn’t know you had stealthily walked down the stairs to fetch a cookie. Stop giggling now. What loving, consenting parents do as part of their foreplay is none of your business. Their sexual contact is playful, secret, healthy, meaningful love, and helps build better relationships through yet one more way of communicating love. Your parents are lovers above all. They are not gropers. The physical contact between them is a sacred and beautiful thing. Surely, God blesses each and every pair of lovers and their family.
Communication in families is the most important thing, isn’t it?
Because parents cannot keep secrets from the kids for long, (It is better to be a truthful biology teacher every time a child asks a question.) kids have some strange ideas about their parents’ love life (ick). Groping is ‘hot’?
Society is messed up on this aspect of the groping topic. Kids misunderstand so RINJ says, “understand this”:
You don’t get groped by total strangers because you are “HOT”.
You get groped because some of us nice ordinary people are vulnerable to scumbags with severe personality disorders (they can be “sick bastards” who do horrible things).
“Gropers”, even the uncles and cousins in our families who do this “groping” sexual behavior have deviant personality disorders that are incurable. They are sociopaths and the fact that they are openly doing violent crime indicates their the measure of their extreme danger. This conduct is widely regarded as abnormal and unacceptable and is done by people who are in the street vernacular, “perverts” — the clinical names are too many and too complicated to teach non-doctors, so this street name communicates the best meaning. They have no good friends nor a proper life and they try to exert power and control over weak people, most often children or people with physical and mental challenges. They are not just people seeking some kind of “fun”, they are creepy, sick people who will severely hurt you, given the cahnce. They dream of raping and killing their victims. They do!
What can we do about Sexual Assault (Groping)
“Groping” is an English word that generally has come to imply unwanted sexual contact, hand to genitals.
To children, we say, people may not touch you in areas where the bathing suit covers you. That would be “groping”.
Adults can go with that too, but use your head, if you are in a crowded subway and a man is rubbing his ‘bulge’ against your backside, you are being “groped”, sexually assaulted, and the victim of a serious crime. Take action.
We asked the head of our security team. She said, use the index and middle fingers and strike at the solar-plexus, the throat or an eye.
Aim deeper, past the point you want to strike, and hit with just your middle and index finger extended straight out.
Another move you can make is to use the heel of your hand, and straight arm the attacker under their nose shoving upward and back. You are best off to use the two fingers method.
If you see this happening to a friend or just another girl, help them do the two finger strike. Self-defence extends to another person when you witness a sexual assault on another person. You may defend them just as you have the right to defend yourself.
The Universal Declaration of Human Rights
1 Right to Equality
2 Freedom from Discrimination
3 Right to Life, Liberty, Personal Security
4 Freedom from Slavery
5 Freedom from Torture and Degrading Treatment
6 Right to Recognition as a Person before the Law
7 Right to Equality before the Law
8 Right to Remedy by Competent Tribunal
9 Freedom from Arbitrary Arrest and Exile
10 Right to Fair Public Hearing
11 Right to be Considered Innocent until Proven Guilty
12 Freedom from Interference with Privacy, Family, Home and Correspondence
13 Right to Free Movement in and out of the Country
14 Right to Asylum in other Countries from Persecution
15 Right to a Nationality and the Freedom to Change It
16 Right to Marriage and Family
17 Right to Own Property
18 Freedom of Belief and Religion
19 Freedom of Opinion and Information
20 Right of Peaceful Assembly and Association
21 Right to Participate in Government and in Free Elections
22 Right to Social Security
23 Right to Desirable Work and to Join Trade Unions
24 Right to Rest and Leisure
25 Right to Adequate Living Standard
26 Right to Education
27 Right to Participate in the Cultural Life of Community
28 Right to a Social Order that Articulates this Document
29 Community Duties Essential to Free and Full Development
30 Freedom from State or Personal Interference in the above Rights